Big Emotions and Biblical Faithfulness
Updated: Sep 26
Many Christians have been taught, directly or indirectly, that emotional health means emotional control... often displayed as emotional suppression.
Do not be too angry.
Do not be too afraid.
Do not grieve too deeply.
Do not stay discouraged too long.
Trust God. Have faith. Choose joy.
There is truth in some of these ideas. Scripture does call us toward hope, trust, perseverance, and joy. But when those truths are used to silence pain, they can create a picture of spiritual maturity that looks unbiblical, in the name of the Bible.
The Bible is an intensely emotional book.
It's heroes grieve, cry, fear, rage, question, doubt, lament, rejoice, and wrestle with God. God does not present faithful people as unaffected by suffering, rather as those who are willing to bring the fullness of their suffering into their relationship with God.
The Psalms Give Permission to Tell the Truth
Perhaps nowhere is this clearer than in the Psalms. A significant portion (1/3) of the Psalms are laments. One author defines lament as "a prayer of pain that leads to trust". The authors of the Psalms often ask questions we are uncomfortable asking in our churches.
How long will this last?
Why have you turned your face from me?
Where are you, God?
Why does it seem like you have forgotten me?
Why are my enemies winning?
The Psalmists do not sanitize their experience before bringing it to God. They tell the truth. In Psalm 13, David feels forgotten and abandoned. Psalm 42 describes a downcast and disturbed soul. Psalm 88 ends with the resolution we fear - darkness remains.
God, in his kindness, chose to preserve these emotion-filled prayers of pain, giving spiritual language for his people to use in telling the truth. Biblical lament teaches us that bringing painful emotion to God is not the opposite of faith. Sometimes it is one of faith's deepest expressions.
Paul Knew What it was Like to Despair
Paul tells the Corinthians that he and his companions experienced such intense suffering, that they "despaired of life itself" (2 Corinthians 1:8)
That is remarkably honest language.
Paul does not say, "Things were difficult, but I kept a positive attitude." He says the burden was beyond what he believed he could endure.
And this does not disqualify Paul from being faithful. His emotional experience is not evidence that he has lost faith. His suffering becomes part of the place where dependence on God deepens.
There is a big difference between believing that God is present and pretending that life does not hurt. Paul never asks us to pretend.
Elijah Reached the End of Himself
In 1 Kings 19, Elijah gives another picture of emotional collapse. Immediately after one of the most dramatic victories of his life, Elijah runs for his life, sits beneath a tree, and asks God to let him die.
He is exhausted, afraid, alone, and overwhelemed.
What is especially meaningful in this story is God's response. God does not begin with a lecture. God gives Elijah sleep, food, and drink. Only later does God engage him more deeply.
There is something profoundly compassionate about this story. Elijah's emotional crisis is met, in part, with care for his body. Sometimes what appears to be purely spiritual distress, is also physical exhaustion, fear, hunger, stress, or a nervous system that has reached its capacity.
Jesus Did Not Avoid Anguish
In the Garden, on the night of his betrayal and arrest, Jesus did not approach suffering with emotional avoidance.
He tells his closest friends to stay with him because he was overwhelmed with sorrow. Then he falls to the ground and prays, over and over again, asking the Father to let the suffering before him pass. We focus on his submission to God, which is beautiful and good. But we often miss that he named his distress and pleaded with God to take it away.
Emotions Are Not the Enemy
Emotions are not infallible. They do not always tell us exactly what is true, therefore we cannot blindly obey our emotions. But neither can we dismissively ignore them.
Emotions carry information about our experiences, past and present, and they are part of our story. Scripture gives us permission to bring these emotions to God, in honest prayer, and sort through them there, receiving care and compassion. Perhaps emotional health is not about learning how to feel less. Perhaps it is learning to become more honest, connected, compassionate, and grounded in truth while we feel.
